And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
