Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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