lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Can vaginas get frostbite?
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
