Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
