I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
