I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
