So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
