i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
