Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Randomize
