Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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