Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
