he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Randomize
