yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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