She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Randomize
