But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
