no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
