This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize
