Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
