i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
