Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
