I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
