Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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