Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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