Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize
