i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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