I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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