shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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