I never want to see another naked old woman again.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Randomize