In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize