question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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