Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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