I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
