Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
no you cant smoke seaweed
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
