Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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