Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
