Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
