so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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