Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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