You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize