Swine flu. Run for my life!
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
it's great music for shaving your balls
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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