I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
