can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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