Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
did i just pee glitter
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
