i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
