Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
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