You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
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