I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
