absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
