Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
