He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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