you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Randomize