you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I'm really busy with my period
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