Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
