Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
We smell like vodka and hangover
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
