Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
It was confusing and full of hummus
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
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