i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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