Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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