Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
